Note: This is a copy and in most cases edited/updated version of the original post on my Astraldynamics Journal. The original link is to be found here.
10/Jan/2010
So this is indeed my lucidventure #4 (after the quasi-NDE and the two 'brutal' waves experiences, the second one been days after where I also encountered the Void for the first time, but more on that later on), but below I will also give a short synopsis of #5 due to a thematic connection. Don't worry, I will make big jumps through 2010 with a few chosen 'thematic' lucidventures only, since my newest adventures are pretty exciting now and I want to get at them asap. However, I deem these 'first ones' worthy of this kind of raised attention because it makes sense (at least for me ) to retrace my initial development.
Interestingly, my diary notes on that day say that it was all "too early" for me for a new attempt. I wanted to resume projecting, but not yet. However, that morning I caught myself in hypnagogia and 'decided' due to a (literally!) 'whim' in that trance state to be an opportunist and use the situation to give it a try again.
Even more interesting is the fact that the log entry tells me that I did NOT HAVE ANY VIBRATIONS again during the whole exit attempt. So I still had no "normal" vibrations to that point and after. The entry just tells of a 'sinking feeling' and a slight whistling sound on the right ear. The stiff 'prothesis'-arm raised with my energy body rolled on the back also features again.
However, the most striking and (til today) unique event is this: My affirmation, which then was the same as used in 2009: "I am out-of-body now." suddenly 'switched' and it was said by a different voice. Not just the voice was changed though. The way of speaking, such as intonation, articulation, mood, emotive and 'personality' additions was completely changed, too. That means: It sounded like another person entirely.
And it was a WOMAN. And yet: it was ME SPEAKING this and not someone else. So don't be mistaken: it is NOT at all comparable to a kind of modulation of one's own voice (such as speaking through a sound system into a mike with effects on, or by inhaling helium). It was me speaking as another person. I also heard the voice from a bit farther off, but still clear and loud. Actually, when I think of it again, I believe it was 'everywhere' (in my head and outside around me) and I could not attribute it to any point in the (physical) room. The voice was beautiful, angelic, soft, tender, empathetic, and as it seemed it tried its best to to reassure and soothe me.
Now the funny thing: It might not have been a AFF-irmation at all but rather a CON-firmation !!!
That means (from today's view only, of course) that I already was out of my body, because I used the roll-out 'technique' - without knowing it. So the voice possibly just stated to me that I just could have gotten up and walked away, while I was still lying there, arms raised waiting for the exit to happen, on my back with my energy body, but thinking it was my physical body. That one, however was still lying 'unmoved' on the side! Not knowing this, I broke off the attempt. Only to wake up and wonder why I was - again - lying on my side now.
It is of course possible that the stiff arm might have hindered the exit and it was indeed an 'almost'-exit except for that arm. It will remain a mystery since fortunately is a typical feature of my early lucidventures and did not return for a long time now.
Yes, that's hilarious, I now. Well, we live and learn, don't we? And we all need to be able to laugh about ourselves and this is really the point that makes me laugh even today. I took me, however, quite a while to get past this point and thus get further up on the learning curve.
Many of the following attempts exactly were of this kind, with the only difference that they included then the famous 'vibrations' of the 'normal' kind, which it seems I had the first time during lucadventure #5 (but around that time I had some other very similar attempts following this one):
(translated logfile entry):
proj.5: 15/Feb/2010
again hypnagogic phase (ca. 8 a.m.) Again right arm and attempt with affirmations. My energy body is on the back again, this time I even put the second arm in the air. Vibrations are there, but much weaker than during the first times. But no disengagement. Or was I disengaged already? i give up after ca. 2 minutes of trying.
Some progress (from #4 to #5) is shown by the fact that I talk about my energy (instead of physical) body on the back and the first slight suspicion that I might have been "disengaged" already. Still, it seems I always expected a kind of spectacular "lift-off" from the ground instead of just completing the 'roll-out' and getting up. It seems that this was much too 'mundane and ordinary' for me even to consider then.
Comments / Afterthoughts
Many comments are already given in the text above. Just let me mention that this was the topic for my first post here when I joined.
For that original Link to my first post on Astral Dynamics click here.
There, Robert Bruce confirmed my guess, that this was probably my Higher Self, applying the reassuring voice to help me:
"This would appear to be a manifestation of your higher self, the voice. Beyond this, there is not much I can tell you. This is a positive thing."
This explains perfectly why I "spoke it" and "did not speak it" at once. I knew then, I was not 'alone' in my efforts anymore which made me happy.
By the way, the voice never came back (as yet). But I'm patient.
10/Jan/2010
So this is indeed my lucidventure #4 (after the quasi-NDE and the two 'brutal' waves experiences, the second one been days after where I also encountered the Void for the first time, but more on that later on), but below I will also give a short synopsis of #5 due to a thematic connection. Don't worry, I will make big jumps through 2010 with a few chosen 'thematic' lucidventures only, since my newest adventures are pretty exciting now and I want to get at them asap. However, I deem these 'first ones' worthy of this kind of raised attention because it makes sense (at least for me ) to retrace my initial development.
Interestingly, my diary notes on that day say that it was all "too early" for me for a new attempt. I wanted to resume projecting, but not yet. However, that morning I caught myself in hypnagogia and 'decided' due to a (literally!) 'whim' in that trance state to be an opportunist and use the situation to give it a try again.
Even more interesting is the fact that the log entry tells me that I did NOT HAVE ANY VIBRATIONS again during the whole exit attempt. So I still had no "normal" vibrations to that point and after. The entry just tells of a 'sinking feeling' and a slight whistling sound on the right ear. The stiff 'prothesis'-arm raised with my energy body rolled on the back also features again.
However, the most striking and (til today) unique event is this: My affirmation, which then was the same as used in 2009: "I am out-of-body now." suddenly 'switched' and it was said by a different voice. Not just the voice was changed though. The way of speaking, such as intonation, articulation, mood, emotive and 'personality' additions was completely changed, too. That means: It sounded like another person entirely.
And it was a WOMAN. And yet: it was ME SPEAKING this and not someone else. So don't be mistaken: it is NOT at all comparable to a kind of modulation of one's own voice (such as speaking through a sound system into a mike with effects on, or by inhaling helium). It was me speaking as another person. I also heard the voice from a bit farther off, but still clear and loud. Actually, when I think of it again, I believe it was 'everywhere' (in my head and outside around me) and I could not attribute it to any point in the (physical) room. The voice was beautiful, angelic, soft, tender, empathetic, and as it seemed it tried its best to to reassure and soothe me.
Now the funny thing: It might not have been a AFF-irmation at all but rather a CON-firmation !!!
That means (from today's view only, of course) that I already was out of my body, because I used the roll-out 'technique' - without knowing it. So the voice possibly just stated to me that I just could have gotten up and walked away, while I was still lying there, arms raised waiting for the exit to happen, on my back with my energy body, but thinking it was my physical body. That one, however was still lying 'unmoved' on the side! Not knowing this, I broke off the attempt. Only to wake up and wonder why I was - again - lying on my side now.
It is of course possible that the stiff arm might have hindered the exit and it was indeed an 'almost'-exit except for that arm. It will remain a mystery since fortunately is a typical feature of my early lucidventures and did not return for a long time now.
Yes, that's hilarious, I now. Well, we live and learn, don't we? And we all need to be able to laugh about ourselves and this is really the point that makes me laugh even today. I took me, however, quite a while to get past this point and thus get further up on the learning curve.
Many of the following attempts exactly were of this kind, with the only difference that they included then the famous 'vibrations' of the 'normal' kind, which it seems I had the first time during lucadventure #5 (but around that time I had some other very similar attempts following this one):
(translated logfile entry):
proj.5: 15/Feb/2010
again hypnagogic phase (ca. 8 a.m.) Again right arm and attempt with affirmations. My energy body is on the back again, this time I even put the second arm in the air. Vibrations are there, but much weaker than during the first times. But no disengagement. Or was I disengaged already? i give up after ca. 2 minutes of trying.
Some progress (from #4 to #5) is shown by the fact that I talk about my energy (instead of physical) body on the back and the first slight suspicion that I might have been "disengaged" already. Still, it seems I always expected a kind of spectacular "lift-off" from the ground instead of just completing the 'roll-out' and getting up. It seems that this was much too 'mundane and ordinary' for me even to consider then.
Comments / Afterthoughts
Many comments are already given in the text above. Just let me mention that this was the topic for my first post here when I joined.
For that original Link to my first post on Astral Dynamics click here.
There, Robert Bruce confirmed my guess, that this was probably my Higher Self, applying the reassuring voice to help me:
"This would appear to be a manifestation of your higher self, the voice. Beyond this, there is not much I can tell you. This is a positive thing."
This explains perfectly why I "spoke it" and "did not speak it" at once. I knew then, I was not 'alone' in my efforts anymore which made me happy.
By the way, the voice never came back (as yet). But I'm patient.
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